Dante and Deadpool
by gorutovssageta
Summary: After falling into money problems, Dante is given an offer that he cannot refuse. A mysterious benefactor has offered him a huge amount of money to relocate Devil's May Cry to NYC. Problem is, Dante doesn't know who this benefactor is... R&R.
1. Dante Meets a Madman

_New fanfiction! I own nothing but the tale that lies before you! _

As Dante and Lady moved the remaining boxes left in the moving truck into the small dusty shop, Dante sighed unhappily as he observed the new location for Devil's May Cry. Dante was having money troubles in his previous location, a mysterious benefactor telling him that if he relocated, they would invest in Dante's shop. Dante had no choice, Lady and Trish both complaining when Dante had told them the news the previous day.

"New York City?" Lady asked with a skeptical look as Dante tried to shove a crossbow inside a shoe box. "All the way over there?"

"It sounds like too much of a hassle to me," Trish commented as she leaned up against a wall near Dante. "Why don't we try to make the best of where we are and figure something out?"  
"Unless you two are about to get jobs at Burger King, we are screwed," Dante replied as he finally gave up with the crossbow and the box. "Actually, maybe you two can get jobs as strippers and I can be your pimp... I always wanted to get a fur coat..."

"OK, well working at fast food is out of the question," Lady said as she completely ignored Dante's idiocy. "So I guess it's to New York huh?"  
"I guess it is," Dante replied as he sat down in his favorite chair. "But are you two...?" Lady and Trish both pulled out their guns and pointed them at Dante, Dante putting his hands up in protest.

"Where is Trish at anyway?" Lady asked Dante as she lugged her box of things into the small shop.

"Said that she had things to take care of and that she would be here later," Dante replied as he took a sniper rifle from one of the boxes. "Man I love this thing. I got to find a good use for this..."

"Hey losers!" a voice shouted as Dante and Lady looked around the room in surprise. "So you two ladies are the new meat huh?"

"Did you just call me a fucking lady?" Dante asked angrily as he pulled Ebony from his holster. "You must got a death wish pal..."

"That's actually Mr. Deadpool to you!" the voice shouted back as a man wearing a black and red jumpsuit jumped down from what seemed like the attic, coughing as he looked at Lady.  
"Well hello new employee," the man said in a cool voice as he walked over to Lady. "First order I'm giving you as boss is to grow out your hair. You look like a browned haired version of that singing kid, what's his name? Oh yeah, Justin something." Dante chuckled as Lady looked at the masked man with disgust, stomping on his toe as hard as she could. The man jumped up and down as he held his toe, Lady smiling widely as she walked away.

"Not cool, not cool!" the man shouted as he finally stopped jumping around, Dante making his way over and placing Ebony and Ivory at the man's forehead.

"Alright clown, make me laugh," Dante muttered as the man looked at him. "Tell me why you graced us with your smell..."

"That's actually your breath," the man answered as Dante growled, preparing to shoot the crap outta this guy.  
"Hey, I'm the only one who gets to make funny comments!" Dante shouted as the masked man laughed at this.  
"You? You don't have the heart for it kid," the man replied as Dante growled again. "Especially with that Cabbage Patch haircut you got there." Dante's guns clicked as he prepared to shoot the man in the head, Lady gasping as she seen this.

"You were really going to shoot him Dante?" Lady asked as Dante looked at his guns with annoyance, realizing that the safety was on.

"Why the hell did I not take the safety off these things?" Dante wondered out loud as the man disappeared. He appeared behind Dante, two guns now pointed at his head.

"This guy is quick..." Dante thought as a bead of sweat dripped down his forehead. "Hmm, he's gonna give me the perfect welcoming party to this dump..."  
"By the way, name is Deadpool," the man said as Dante snickered.  
"Wow, that is by far the gayest name I ever heard before," Dante replied as Deadpool snickered.  
"Hey, got a question. Do you have a regeneration factor?" he asked as Dante shook his head no. "Hmm, didn't think so... well, then here is a heads up for ya. This is gonna hurt like a bitch..." As he finished his sentence, Deadpool began to shoot off his guns, Dante, ducking away before getting any shots buried in him. He pulled out his sword quickly and slashed Deadpool's legs off, Deadpool fell to the ground, Lady gasping as she seen this occur.

"DANTE, ARE YOU CRAZY?" Lady shouted as Dante snickered, pointing his gun at Deadpool.

"Wow, foul ball!" Deadpool shouted from the ground. "You aren't supposed to bring a knife to a gun fight party! Everyone knows that!" Dante sneered as he pointed his gun at Deadpool's head.

"Yeah, well the party ends here for you," Dante replied as he shot Deadpool in the head, Deadpool's head falling to the side as a pool of blood surfaced under his body.  
"Dante, why would you do something like that?" Lady asked as Dante shrugged.  
"He called me a girl," Dante replied simply as he sat in his favorite chair. He pulled a bag of chips out of a box and started to munch on them, Lady shaking her head as she watched him.

"You know those chips are stale right?" Lady asked as she picked back up her box and stepped over Deadpool's body. "Ugh, you are cleaning this floor..." As she bent over, Deadpool sat up and grabbed her ass, Lady screaming as she turned around, pistols drawn. Dante looked over in shock as Deadpool got up from the floor, his legs somehow regenerated.

"Surprise!" Deadpool shouted as he threw his hands in the air. Dante and Lady looked at him with their mouths wide open as Deadpool chuckled.  
"I got you guys good huh?" Deadpool asked as he laughed. "You can do whatever you want to me! I'm not gonna die because I've got a regeneration factor! Hey, pass those chips you got, I'm starving!" As Deadpool snatched the chip bag from Dante's hands, Dante looked at Deadpool with widened eyes, not knowing what to say. He looked back down at the ground, Deadpool's old legs still sliced up on the ground. He then looked back up at Deadpool and sighed.  
"Why the hell are you here for?" Dante asked as Deadpool pulled up part of his mask, eating some of the chips.  
"Mmmfmm," Deadpool replied with his mouth stuffed with chips. Dante and Lady looked at him with confused expressions as Deadpool swallowed his food.  
"I said, I'm your mysterious benefactor, I'm your new boss!" Deadpool continued as Lady and Dante both gasped.  
"N-No way..." Lady muttered as she thought about having to deal with this idiot every day. "I already have to deal with Dante..."

"Also, I want some buck for my money," Deadpool said as he finished the bag of chips and tossed the bag on the ground. "So, I set up that little practice test for ya. I wasn't too impressed. So me and you are going to go do a job. You down with that... Hey, what's your name poodle boy?"  
"Dante..." Dante muttered with an annoyed glance.

"Daran, of course," Deadpool replied as he stretched a bit. "Anything that make ya special?"

"I'm a half demon," Dante replied as Deadpool chuckled.

"Wow, those demons these days sure don't know how to wear condoms," Deadpool joked as Lady and Dante both sighed. "Oh well, better half then completely useless right? Alright, first thing is we go to the store, I want Cheetos. Then we go on this mission and later go to get more Cheetos."  
"What's this mission anyway?" Dante asked as Deadpool snickered.

"Ah, the usual boring crap, kill some asshole for doing something, all I really heard was the price I was getting paid," Deadpool replied as he pulled back down his mask. "So, ready to go then?"  
"You are one crazy son of a bitch," Dante answered as he looked at Deadpool with disbelief. "But..." Dante broke out with a smile, patting Deadpool on the back as they headed out the door. "You sure do know how to party..." Lady sighed as she watched the two leave.  
"Dante and Deadpool," she muttered as she sighed again. "This is going to be a very long... life..."

_Deadpool and Dante are a new team! Prepare for the Merc with a Mouth to team up with Dante! New adventures are coming, but that depends on you! The usual thing, 5 review and I continue, blah. I only do that so I can actually work on stories people like and not just waste my time. So please tell me your feedback! _

_gorutovssageta_


	2. The Mission That Was Interrupted

_New chapter! I do not own anything! _

"Sir, we have a caller for you on line 1," a woman announced to her boss from her desk intercom_. _"He says it is very important. Shall I transfer the call?" Her boss, Luigi Delgotti, one of the biggest underground drug lords in all of New York, sat at his desk, barely able to even sit in his chair with his overweight body. As he sat at his desk eating pizza, he pressed his grubby little fingers onto the intercom.  
"Hey, tell that asshole that I'm busy, but we can do lunch tomorrow!" Luigi shouted within the intercom between bites of food. "I got a lot of paperwork to take care of in here!"

"Yes sir," the secretary answered back as he resumed her job. Luigi snickered as he pulled a bag of what seemed like cocaine from his drawer, placing in onto his desk and preparing to use it. As he pulled out a silver pan, there was suddenly a loud knock on the door. Luigi quickly placed the drugs back into his drawer as he looked at the door with annoyance.  
"Janet, I told you I was fucking busy!" Luigi roared as the door was kicked open, Deadpool and Dante entering the room with their usual flair. "Who the hell are you two idiots? How did you get past security?"

"We told them that we were the pizza delivery service," Deadpool answered as he stood at the door, munching on Cheetos. "Wow, these are really good, you should try some. Oops, looks who I'm talking to..." Dante snickered as Luigi turned red in the face.  
"So you think that you are funny do you?" Luigi asked as his left hand reached for a handgun that he kept within a secret compartment in his desk. As he pulled out the gun, Deadpool winked at Dante as he was shot in the head. Deadpool fell to the floor, Dante looking down with a bored expression upon his face.  
"Well, you want it too?" Luigi asked as he pointed the gun at Dante. "You seem like a smart man, so I'll give you one warning. Either leaved this place or die where you stand."  
"Do you honestly think that squirt gun has enough ammo to take me out?" Dante asked with a smirk on his face. "Get real Michelin Man." Luigi growled as he prepared to shoot, Deadpool deciding to finally get up from the ground.  
"Is this yours?" he asked as he pulled the bullet from his skull and placed it on top of Luigi's desk. Luigi gasped as he fell to his seat, sweat dripping down his forehead.

"I killed you!" Luigi roared as he looked up at the these two heroes. "Wait... it's you isn't it? You are Deadpool, that crazy mercenary that can't die!"

"Aww, he knows my name," Deadpool replied as he sat on top of Luigi's desk. "So you should also know that I will make your fat ass a Macy's Day Parade float as well. Dante, I'll let you take it from here..." Dante looked at Deadpool with confusion as he walked up to the side of him.  
"So, you want me to kill this idiot?" Dante asked as Deadpool nodded, pointing to the middle of Luigi's head.

"Yep, just shoot em right in the head and we can go," Deadpool replied as Luigi screamed, looking at them with fear.

"Look, I'll pay you double what the others are paying you to kill me!" Luigi muttered as his whole face was covered in sweat. "Anything, I promise to do anything!" Deadpool and Dante both ignored him as Dante pulled out Ebony and lifted it to Luigi's forehead. As he prepared to shoot, a strange spider symbol was suddenly shined into the window.  
"Well, if it wasn't Crazypool..." a voice muttered as a man wearing red and blue crashed through the window, swinging on a gigantic web.  
"Who the hell is this guy?" Dante asked as the man looked at him.  
"Come on, don't you read the Daily Bugle? I'm the Spider Menace," the man joked as Luigi took a sigh of relief. "Now, unless you are carrying a sheriff badge with that gun, I'm going to have to ask you to drop the weapon. Because there is only one sheriff in this town, and that is me!"

"Spider-Man is such loser!" Deadpool taunted as Spider-Man looked at him. "What's wrong? I heard about your origin, it sucked ass. My origin was awesome, I had cancer! You and your web powers are about as useful as a bag of shit..."

"You know, your going to be regenerating your jaw if you don't shut the hell up," Spider-Man warned as he looked Deadpool face to face. As these two argued, Luigi tried to slip away from the room, Dante grabbing him by the arm and throwing him back into his chair.

"So, why are we sitting here arguing for?" Dante asked as he was thoroughly ignored. Dante growled as he shot Deadpool in the arm, Deadpool still ignoring him to argue with Spider-Man.

"Your spider-momma is so ugly, she had to trick or treat by phone on Halloween!" Deadpool shouted as Spider-Man snickered.  
"You yourself are so ugly, Jason Vorhees let you borrow his mask!" Spider-Man shot back as Deadpool laughed at this.  
"Nice try, but we all know who is joke king in this room!" Deadpool announced as he took a small bow. "That was lame Spidey, so you totally lose and I win! I..." As Deadpool continued talking, he was interrupted by a loud scream, everyone looking outside. Outside, Trish was fighting what seemed like... Venom? Venom and Trish were in the middle of a battle, Trish seeming to get overpowered by the brute.

"Oh great, now Mac Gargan is here," Spider-Man muttered as he jumped from the window. "Hey, you two gonna help or sit there and look at this unfold?" Dante and Deadpool looked at each other in unison before jumping from the window, following Spider-Man into the battle.  
"So, you have decided to come help after all Dante," Trish muttered as she dodged a swipe from Venom. "I was wondering when you were gonna actually jump in..."  
"Hey, I'm always fashionably late for parties!" Dante shouted as he pulled his sword off his back and ran at Venom. Spider-Man and Deadpool followed, Venom beginning to really get angry now.  
"Spider-Man!" Venom roared as he reached out and tried to grab Spidey, Dante bringing his sword down as he did. Venom roared in pain as part of his body was sliced off by the attack. Venom jumped back slightly as the part missing regenrerated, Dante and Deadpool looking in surprise as they were slammed away by the tentacles that were coming from the body suit.  
"What kind of birthday suit is this guy wearing?" Dante asked as Spider-Man appeared on the side of him.  
"It's called a symbiote, very deadly and bonds to it's host," Spider-Man explained as he ducked away from an attack. "We need to use sound to defeat it..."

"Then let's get loud then," Dante replied as he pulled a special weapon from off his back. "I hope this thing likes a little rock!"

_Next chapter will be up soon! _


	3. Fun With Symbiote

_New chapter! I do not own anything! _

As Venom continued to cause more of a ruckus, Dante pulled out Nevan, the guitar weapon that can be used to rock. Dante grinned as Venom looked at him skeptically, wondering what he was doing with that weapon.

"Uh, what's up with the guitar there Rolling Stone?" Deadpool asked as Dante readied himself to play, thinking up a good tune within his head.

"We will crush you!" Venom screamed as he lunged at Dante, Dante using the bladed edge of Nevan and slamming it into Venom's face. Venom screamed in pain as he backed away slowly, Spider-Man following up Dante's attack by kicking Venom in the face with both feet. Venom went crashing into the ground, leaving an indent where he landed.

"OK, let's go wild!" Dante screamed as he began to play Nevan, the sound of the guitar summoning bats all around himself. As the bats flew around, the sound of the guitar was affecting Venom, making him scream in pain. Venom tried to cover his ears, the suit jumping off his skin.

"It's working!" Spider-Man shouted as Venom roared, looking up and trying to attack Dante. Tentacles rose from the suit, going in all directions as Dante looked in surprise.

"Hey, no tentacle rape here!" Deadpool shouted as he shot at the tentacles, two of them trying to grab Trish and Spider-Man. "You know, I'm missing Powerpuff Girl reruns for this..."

Venom continued to unleash more tentacles, the sound of Nevan not enough to completely neutralize him.

"The sound is weakening him, but not enough!" Spider-Man shouted as he dodged another tentacle via Spider Sense. He watched as the tentacle tried to attack Trish, Trish looking at the tentacle calmly as she reached for her blade on her back. With one quick movement, she cut the tentacle in half, surprisingly quick. Spider-Man nodded in approval as he was grabbed by one of the tentacles, his Spider Sense not warning him in time. The tentacle had grabbed his ankle, lifting him up in the air as another tentacle sharpened and prepared to stab Spider-Man in the chest. As Dante continued to play, the bats tried to attack Venom as well now, the bats having no effect on him.

"OK, now I'm pissed!" Dante shouted as he stopped playing and slammed Nevan into Venom's head, Venom screaming in pain as Mac Gargan was finally shown. The suit slipped off his body, turning into a pile of black goo in front of Dante.

"Nooo, how could you do that!" Mac screamed as he tried to jump into the puddle, Spider-Man using his web to pull him back.

"Nice try, but you and me are taking a trip down to the jail Gargan," Spidey stated as he webbed Mac into a cocoon and tossed him far from the puddle.

"Man I got to take a dump!" Deadpool announced as he stretched out, placing his guns within his holsters. As he did this, the Venom symbiote jumped onto his body, Dante and Spider-Man gasping in surprise as this occurred. Deadpool watched as the symbiote spread over his body, making him look like Spider-Man when he was wearing the symbiote.

"Wow, check me out in the Spider duds!" Deadpool exclaimed as Spider-Man backed away slowly, knowing that this was going to be very bad...

"Idiot, get the suit off of you!" Dante shouted as Deadpool snickered, the suit looking quite snug on the madman.

"Calm down rookie, I'm pretty... Hey, who are you telling what to do?" Deadpool suddenly said as Spider-Man gasped. "I'm the big cheese in this body! What? Kill Spider-Man? Why don't you? What do you mean because you need me? Are you like mating with me or something? Because if you are, I'm gonna want you to at least take me on one date... maybe McDonald's?"

"Deadpool, don't listen to the symbiote!" Spider-Man shouted as Deadpool snickered again, laughing out loud.

"Hey, regeneration factor remember?" Deadpool said as Spider-Man sighed. "This thing is trying, but my factor keeps kicking it out of my Kool-Aid."

"Class act as always..." Dante muttered as Trish shook her head in annoyance.

"Dante, consider this our last team-up," Trish muttered as she watched Deadpool continue to have fun with the symbiote. Suddenly, the symbiote crawled off of Deadpool's body, and then went on course with Spider-Man.

"No way!" Spider-Man said as he jumped away, the symbiote continuing to try to capture him.

"OK, I'm going to kill this piece of crap," Dante said as he pulled Rebellion of his back, preparing to attack the symbiote. As he did, the symbiote jumped onto his body, Trish and Spider-Man gasping as the symbiote crawled onto the half demon.

"Uh-Oh, rookie goes wild," Deadpool muttered as Dante chuckled darkly, the symbiote covering his body.

"This power is incredible!" Dante shouted as Trish and Spider-Man prepared to battle. "I feel like I can do anything with this power..."

"OK, I'm sorry about this!" Spider-Man shouted as he tried to kick Dante, Dante snickering as he kicked in the chest, knocking away Spider-Man easily.

"Let me show you the power of a true demon!" Dante screamed as he prepared to attack.

_OK, sorry for the short chapter. But I'll be back soon, so please tell me what ya think! _

_gorutovssageta_


	4. End Game

_I own nothing but the story._

_Inside Dante's mind_

The power of a demon, the enhanced strength of a symbiote. Inside his mind, Dante found himself in darkness, his mind clouded and uncertain of anything. As he looked around in silence, another voice was heard from within the darkness.

"Dante, why are we waiting? Why don't we crush these insignificant fools?" the voice asked as Dante closed his eyes, his head throbbing in pain.

"Shut the hell up!" Dante shouted as he reached down to the holster strapped to his leg, but his gun was gone. He reached onto his back, but his sword was also nowhere to be found. As Dante squinted his eyes through the darkness, two eyes were able to be seen in the distance. The two eyes were pure white, misshaped and irregular. The same eyes that were focused on Dante not many minutes ago...

"Venom!" Dante exclaimed as the darkness closed in on him, the voice chuckling as Dante was choked by the black ooze.

"So, you remember my name," the symbiote murmured as it spread over Dante's body. "Soon, this entire body will be mine. I would rather have Spider-Man, but you will be sufficient for now." Dante growled angrily as his eyes widened in shock, his entire body being wrapped within what looked like a black ooze cocoon.

Meanwhile, Deadpool, Spider-Man, and Trish were fighting against the symbiote Dante, who was easily overpowering the three fighters.

"Hey, watch the birdie!" Deadpool shouted as he pointed his gun in Dante's face, Dante snickering as he took Deadpool's arm and snapped it. Deadpool howled in pain as Dante then tripped him and slammed him into the ground with the butt of Rebellion. Without any warning, Dante brought the edge of Rebellion into Deadpool's face, Deadpool's entire skull being smash in half by the attack. Deadpool's body fell limply to the ground as Spider-Man and Trish jumped into action, Spider-Man coming from air and Trish running in underneath him. Dante chuckled as he threw his sword at the strand of web Spider-Man was swinging on, making Spider-Man lose his balance. Dante then used the symbiote to reach over and grab Spider-Man, Spider-Man struggling as Dante laughed evilly.

"Stop it Dante!" Trish shouted as she prepared to attack him, Dante simply tossing Spider-Man at her. The two collided together, falling to the ground.

"It's showtime!" Dante roared as the symbiote increased in size, Dante seemingly losing more control of the symbiote. Spider-Man groaned as he pulled himself up, helping Trish to her feet as well.

"Great, he's being consumed by the power of the symbiote," Spider-Man announced as he rubbed the back of his head in a circular motion. "We need to find some way to separate him from the suit, or we might be in a lot of trouble."

"And how the hell do you expect us to do this?" Trish asked as she wiped a strand of blood from the side of her mouth.

"Ow, man getting your head smashed in sucks," Deadpool muttered as he pulled himself up from the ground, Trish gasping as she witnessed this.

"What type of regeneration abilities do you have?' Trish asked as Deadpool snickered.

"Lady, I'm like Superman without the cape," Deadpool answered as he did a heroic pose. "Allow me to show you the awesome abilities of the one and only super bad ass Deadpool!" Deadpool unsheathed his swords off his back and went running at Dante, Dante laughing manically as he went into a defensive position. Deadpool began to clash with Dante wildly, slashing at Dante with amazing speed as Dante simply blocked with Rebellion just as quickly. They seemed evenly matched until Dante sent his sword at Deadpool's chest, Deadpool blocking the sword with both of his swords.

Within Dante's mind, Dante was beginning to get agitated from the symbiote. The symbiote was slowly but surely trying to boot Dante out of his own mind, which was currently going pretty smoothly for the symbiote.

"Alright, parties over symbiote," Dante muttered as he tried to pull out of the black cocoon. "How you gonna throw a swinging party out there and not invite me?"

"Shut the hell up you foolish demon!" the symbiote screamed as Dante chuckled in response.

"Oh, I see I'm going to have to crash this party!" Dante shouted as he activated his Devil Trigger, the symbiote gasping as Dante let out a tremendous roar.

Outside, Deadpool looked on as blood leaked out of his mouth, Dante roaring as the symbiote came crawling off his body.

"Now you aren't invited to the party!" Dante shouted as he pulled out Ebony and Ivory and began to shoot up the the symbiote on the ground, the symbiote whining in pain as Dante snickered.

"What a piece of garbage," Trish murmured as she pulled her sunglasses on his face and walked from the scene. "Dante, you owe me big time for this one…"

"Dammit, I already owe Lady a shit load of cash!" Dante shouted as Trish gave him a little wave, Spider-Man watching on chuckling softly.

_Yeah, I've been gone for so long… I'm really really sorry! But I've been busy, so I had to make this a quick chapter. Next chapter will be longer and feature Wolverine and the X-Men! Stay tuned! _

_gorutovssageta_


	5. A Hulking Problem, Part 1

"Well, that wasn't as fun as you described it'd be," Dante complained as he followed Deadpool back to the Devil May Cry.

"Hey, don't worry rookie, this is just the tip of the Titanic," Deadpool assured the devil hunter. "We're not even remotely done causing trouble just yet!"

"Great, what's the next plan, rob a bank?" Trish asked sarcastically, Deadpool stroking his chin to actually contemplate Trish's comment. "Ugh, I can't work with this idiot anymore. Dante, I'll be back at the Devil May Cry. Please, _don't _need me."

"Well, let's go grab a slice, I'm starving!" Deadpool exclaimed as he pointed to a pizzeria across from where he and Dante were standing, Deadpool going ahead of Dante toward the restaurant.

"Well, it can't get any worse can it?" Dante asked as he followed Deadpool to the pizzeria.

Dante and Deadpool vs. The Hulk

by gorutovssageta

_Disclaimer: __ It just got worse Dante. Oh, and I don't own Devil May Cry or Deadpool. Ha, I love being the author! _

"Dammit, why do I got the feeling that this is going to get worse?" Dante asked Deadpool, who was currently shoveling several slices of pizza inside his mouth. "Hey, are you even paying attention?"

"Hey, I'm watching My Little Pony, shut the hell up!" Deadpool snapped as food particles shot from his mouth. "Damn, I would ride that pony all night!"

"Do you notice that everyone in this restaurant is staring at us?" Dante asked as he gazed around the restaurant, indeed all of the patrons gawking at the duo.

"Well, I am a known mercenary, so the paparazzi follows me all the time, I'm a star!" Deadpool responded as he flashed Dante a grin. "Oh yeah baby, time for a photo shoot!" As Deadpool went into several different poses, Dante glanced out the window, a man wearing a lab coat walking toward the pizzeria. As he entered, he glanced nervously at Dante and Deadpool, Dante looking back at the man with a curious expression.

"Hey buddy, you alright?" Dante asked as he stood up from his seat, the man jumping in fear slightly as the devil hunter walked up to him.

"N-No, I'm fine, thank you!" the man stammered as he turned away, walking up to the counter. "Y-Yes, I'll take a slice to go, as fast as you can please! I must get back to work."

"Well, if it wasn't my old friend Deadpool," a voice murmured behind Dante, who turned around to see who it was. It was a man wearing a skull mask, holding a shield similar to Captain America's in his hand. He wore a white cape with a navy blue jumpsuit, a utility belt connected to his waist. He had a six foot muscular frame, a sword sheathed on his back with two guns connected to his utility belt.

"Beat it skippy, don't you see my favorite show is on?" Deadpool remarked as the man took a pistol off his belt, a bullet blowing up the television.

"You son of a bitch, you know they don't have that on Netflix anymore?" Deadpool asked as he looked up at the man. "That's harsh! Wait, I do know you! It's skull face, uh Ghost something right?"

"No, I'm not Ghost Rider!" the man roared as he pointed the pistol at Deadpool. "Guess again, this time you _better _get it right!"

"Uh… am I on Family Feud?" Deadpool asked as he stood up, prancing slightly. "Is it… Skeletor?"

"Enough of this shit, I'm the Taskmaster!" the man roared as he shot Deadpool directly in the head, sighing as he turned around, running right into Dante's Ebony.

"All right, since we're on Family Fued, I'm guessing you're one dead asshole," Dante remarked with a broad smile as Taskmaster snickered.

"You're still wet behind the ears boy, how dare you challenge me!" Taskmaster shouted as the man wearing the lab coat tried to sneak by. Taskmaster saw him, grabbing the man quickly, holding a pistol to the man's forehead.

"So, now you're taking a hostage?" Dante asked as his gun remained on Taskmaster, who was chuckling as he backed up toward the door.

"L-Let go of me now, before it's too late!" the man insisted as Taskmaster increased the pressure he was placing on the man's neck, the man screaming in agony as he did.

"Shut the hell up, you're my bitch until I can get the hell outta here!" Taskmaster screamed as he continued to back up. "Dammit, you act like this asshole isn't going to recover! He has a regenerative factor you know! All I was doing was giving him a little payback for all the shit he's pulled on me!"

"Wrong time and place pal, that's why you got to pay the piper," Dante responded as he advanced toward Taskmaster.

"P-Please, let me go, no one is safe here!" the man begged as Taskmaster laughed, increasing the pain once again. The man roared in pain, but then strangely stopped, a low growling being heard from the man's mouth.

"Surprise asshole, I'm back!" Deadpool shouted as he pressed his gun on the back of Taskmaster's cranium. "That was a cheap shot, shooting me when I was on Family Feud. Hey, what's wrong with that guy?" Deadpool pointed to the man in the lab coat, who seemed to be growing, his skin turning a bright green.

"What… the… fuck…?" Dante choked out as muscles bulged out the man's shirt, ripping his all his clothing besides his bottoms. He grew up to about nine feet, roaring with an primal roar as the transformation completed.

"Son of a bitch… it's the Hulk!" Taskmaster roared as he ran toward the door, Hulk picking up the man before he could reach it. With minimal effort, he chucked Taskmaster at the counter, causing a whole pizza to fall on Taskmaster's head.

"Holy green giant, what the hell happened to him?" Dante asked as Deadpool and Dante looked up at the green radioactive monster.

"Dude just took several like instaroids in like five seconds flat, we better run!" Deadpool shouted as the Hulk roared again, bringing down his hand on Deadpool, who rolled away from the attack. "Come on poodle boy, let's blow this haystack!"

"We can't just let these people die, we need to stop this big douche!" Dante shouted as Deadpool sighed in response.

"OK, I usually love the goody two shoe "boy scout" crap, but this _isn't _the time, that's the freaking Hulk!" Deadpool replied. "He can smash five of us each without even breaking a sweat!"

"Don't tell me, you're scared?" Dante asked with a superior grin as Deadpool huffed in response. "Well, I didn't know that crazy old Deadpool was nothing but a sane coward."

"Hey, I am not sane!" Deadpool shouted back as he unsheathed his katanas off this back. "Let's do this poodle boy."

"Yeah, you're helping too since this is all your fault," Dante shouted as he yanked Taskmaster off the floor.

"Fuck?" Taskmaster asked as he, Dante, and Deadpool all looked up at the big green monster.

_Hulk is in the building! The big battle begins next chapter! _


End file.
